Wedding Crashers

21/03 Saturday

We arrived at the family's house right on time and the chaos began straight away. First things first, they brought us out some food- for some reason everyone in India always assumes we are hungry and that we must eat! After we finished with our 2nd lunch of the day, we were ushered into the next room where we were able to watch the start of the bride's wedding preparation. All of the women were rushing around getting the necessary ingredients for the bridal cleansing. While she sat looking bewildered in her chair, her family...and us three white kids they picked off the streets...put powdered sandalwood on her face, took money and used it as if it were a wand around her face and did a blessing. Obviously we had no clue what we were doing so everyone was laughing at us while during our participation. It was still good fun though. There were about 3 different phases to her cleansing process...pre-bath cleansing, a bath, and then the final cleansing. We didn't see her after that because we were again, whisked off to eat food. This time it was up on the roof with all of the men. We all felt a little guilty as if we were stealing the show a little bit and this was supposed to be her weekend. Every person there was constantly dragging us from one end of the house to the other or outside as if they wanted to show us something really important and when we would get there, there would be nothing they just wanted to show us off to whoever was around. Its really quite amusing.

One of the dad's we were talking to, not sure how he fit in the family, was telling us about this marriage. We assumed it was an arranged marriage, but he confirmed it. He told us that they had never met and the first time that they meet will be on their wedding night. The way he talked made it sound so romantic and like everyone waited for this moment in their lives. But, knowing this information now made it a bit more understandable why the girl looked so sad and a little frightened, ok who I am kidding she looked scared shitless. I'm sure the one thing that was getting her through this evening of nerves was having her entire family around. There were probably 30 people there helping to prepare for the big event. The women mostly gathered around her the entire time, and the men socializing and helping do banana leaf decorations outside. It was all pretty calculated and impressive.

We met everyone at the Marriage Hall at roughly 10:30 Sunday morning. We were told to dress in "American" clothes. So we all just wore pants and t-shirts...I made the mistake of wearing jeans, it was so bloody hot outside I thought I was going die of heat exhaustion. When we saw our first familiar faces we were whisked away, like always, up into the brides chambers. They wanted us to take pictures and be a part of all of the preparation. It was a little strange being the only unrelated people present for such an intimate and personal part of this girls wedding day. She wore a beautifully, intricate purple Saree and her jewelery was nothing short of elaborate; she looked gorgeous. It was a similar scene to the day before, the women were all bustling around making sure every little detail was just right; all of them dressed in flashy, bright colored Sarees. It looked like the crayola factory. The Marriage hall was dressed to match. It was "creatively" decorated from ceiling to floor with the most vibrant colors and gaudy garnishes.

Even with all of the commotion, my heart went out for this girl...she was trying to smile through the tears but they just wouldn't stop flowing out of her eyes. She kept her head down for most of the time only looking up when someone pulled her chin up or something caught her attention. I mean can you imagine, today is the last day of her life as she knows it; tonight she will be a married women living in some strange man's home (now her husband) about 100km away from all of her family and friends... at the age of 23. Just like that.

After part of the bridal preparation were were hustled down the stairs to the "mess hall" of the Marriage hall to eat more food with our trusty utensils (our hands)...it was maybe the best meal I've had in India, but boy oh boy were we full afterward. Once we regained consciousness we went back to the main part of the hall to watch the final preparations before the ceremony. We went downstairs shortly before she came out. The actual wedding ceremony was over before you knew it, in fact I didn't know it was over when it was over. The Marriage hall was split into two sections with curtains being the only thing separating the men from the women. The bride sat in an elaborate chair on the woman's side, while the husband was on a stage with around 8 other men. We started out on her side, but somehow ended up watching the husband's ceremony instead. Not sure how that happened and also have no idea what took place for the ceremony on her side. The men all did a few prayers and chants, then some papers were signed, a lot of hugging took place and then that was it. People were moving around and talking throughout the whole ceremony. The bride and groom never saw one another, but yet a marriage had taken place right before my eyes. It definitely was a new experience for me.

We were then force fed again after the nuptials and left shortly after. I think the festivities were going on through the evening, but we were all just too full and too exhausted from being paraded around to everyone and their mother...literally...that we had to call it quits around 3pm and get ourselves packed up and checked out to move on to our next adventure. I'm so glad that we delayed our plans of migrating up north so that we could attend this wedding. Who knows, it might be the last Indian/Muslim wedding I'll be invited to attend...gotta cease these opportunities.

Well, that's it for now as far as weddings go! I'm sure more stories will spring out of me as time goes on, but at least now you all have a little taste of it. Off to Pondicherry now, then up to Chennai to meet my friend Caitlin!!! (For those of you who don't know Caitlin, she was my college roommate and also the girl who I ventured down to Tahoe with).

Uncle Gary, you are the best for helping arrange this! I don't think I've ever been so happy that both my dad and my uncle are retired pilots :) Thanks you two for spending so much time working out all of the details...we won't do anything to embarrass you...well at least you won't have to hear about it if we do!